Ten Things I've Learned: #1 The Long Road Back

I've learned a lot about cancer in the past year. One thing that it takes a long time to recover. Many times the "public" face that one puts out there has a very positive outlook. But in truth, there are setbacks. It just takes some time. I suppose it varies from person to person, but from our experiences I would say that the time it takes to rebound from cancer and the subsequent chemotherapy, surgeries, and radiation mirrors what it takes for the hair to come back. One thing that Tracy has benefited from was the "Time to Heal" class/help group that she was able to take part in. They say that the trauma of a cancer diagnosis can cause post traumatic stress issues and when you combine that with "chemo brain" and other known issues, it's truly a blessing to be able to be a part of such an effective program. Others don't have an opportunity to take part in such a program and I wonder how they do it. It must be tough.

I've also seen Tracy's spirits rise as she's been able to get back in the flow of her normal daily routine as a trainer at work as well as working out at the gym. And, I can't forget, shopping! Plus another factor is the hair coming back. As you can see from the picture, it's come back quite well. She even had her first hair cut the other day!

The Week Ahead | Cancer patient organizes run to fight her disease - KansasCity.com

The Week Ahead | Cancer patient organizes run to fight her disease - KansasCity.com

Breast cancer awareness campaign hits Capitol

Breast cancer awareness campaign hits Capitol Hill

Posted using ShareThis

The Kanzius Machine

Sixty Minutes Story On Using Radio Waves to Kill Metastasized Cancer Cells

The Kanzius Machine

Pink October

By now I bet you all know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I am so impressed with the many organizations that offer there support for the cause. Pink seems to be everywhere you look. I especially love seeing what the NFL is doing. Some players are wearing pink gloves, shoe laces and wrist bands, and stadium banners promote the importance of early detection.

While breast cancer awareness is good thing, sometimes hearing about cancer can bring back sad memories. With Tracy's diagnosis happening a year ago in October, we're still sensitive to the subject and probably always will be. Tracy recently stopped watching her favorite show, Brothers & Sisters, after Kitty was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. She complained that now both of her favorite shows have main characters dealing with cancer (Izzy on Grey's Anatomy). She told me that she simply would have to quit watching "Brothers" since it was on late and broke her no cancer talk after eight o'clock rule. The funny part about all of this was that I was watching one of my favorite shows, The Family Guy, at the time. With perfect timing, Lois on Family Guy found a lump on her breast. That was the topper. I shut off the TV immediately!

In case you are wondering, I did watch the rest of The Family Guy later. Lois saw a doctor and she didn't have cancer. My response... get a second opinion.

Beaten by the Tracys

Well, that was interesting! Last Sunday's 10 K in Omaha wasn't what I expected it to be. Since circumstances had gotten in the way of actually training for it, I was led to believe that we would be walking most of the way. Piece of cake, right? Wrong.

We ran almost the entire way. Once we got out there, my wife's competitive juices got going and, well, so did we! I'm proud to say that I kept up. Tracy and I ran together the whole way. With Tracy's background running half marathons, she seemed to handle things pretty well. I'm in basketball shape, but distance running is a different thing altogether. After about four miles, parts of my body that I haven't heard from in years were starting to "talk back" to me in protest! But we kept going.

A ways ahead of us was Tracy's childhood friend, Tracy H., who also has run some half marathons before. Tracy H. ran without the benefit of training as well, but unlike my Tracy, Tracy H. is currently undergoing chemotherapy for her cancer. How hardcore is that? Running a 10K while going through chemo? Unreal. I doubt that many have accomplished that feat.

And by the way, both Tracys beat me Sunday. Guess after battling cancer, beating me was a piece of cake...

The 10 K

I ran five miles once. My brother and I challenged ourselves to run around the entire section. A county road section is normally a total of four miles, but the one that we ran was actually five. You could definitely say that we took it slow! But we made it. And I was pretty sore the next day.

I'm thinking back on that experience because early tomorrow morning, Tracy and I are going to do the Omaha 10 K. We signed up months ago figuring that this would be a good challenge for us as we celebrate a return to normal after the conclusion of Tracy's chemotherapy and radiation treatments.

Or so we thought.

We vastly underestimated the time that it would take Tracy to recover from her cancer treatment. Everybody's different, of course. But in Tracy's case, she has tried to get back to where she was before the diagnosis. She used to work out regularly. She's even run a couple half marathons. But Tracy experienced light-headedness during or after workouts. One night, her symptoms were so bad that we went to the emergency room. Given her history with herceptin and the way that it affected her heart, we were very concerned. We wound up spending the night in the hospital that night, but in the end we were relieved that the tests showed that her heart was fine. We found out that she had been having trouble with low potassium. Since then, she's been able to manage that problem, but we decided against training for the 10 K.

One thing that we learned from all of this is that, cancer treatment is not easy to come back from. It takes a long time for things to even start to feel normal again. But we will be there tomorrow and we will participate.

We will take it as a small victory.

A Year of Marriage

It’s Saturday morning, September 19. A year ago at this time, I was spending my last few hours as a “free man”. It is hard to believe that it’s already been a year since Tracy and I got married. As any regular reader of this blog knows, it’s been an eventful year. The devastating news of Tracy’s cancer diagnosis one month into our marriage overshadowed the excitement of being a newlywed. It’s left us with a most unusual feeling. It seems like our wedding was almost yesterday, but it’s been a very long year. When your wife is diagnosed with breast cancer, it’s always going to be tough. We’re just very fortunate that we were able to catch the cancer when we did. But one thing this whole experience has done for us is that it has given our marriage a chance to be tested.

Today’s weather reminds me of our wedding day. The sun is bright and the temp is about 78 degrees. My brother and I went out and played tennis in the morning. It was just a great day all around. I was nervous, of course. And I have to say that our decision not to see each other on the day of the wedding really added to the excitement. Everything went smoothly until we realized that we were running late. We had to pick up someone on the north end of town and then make the drive to the south end. Fortunately, Paul was up to the task, because I was too nervous to drive. But when we got there, everything settled down for me. With my entire wedding party there to joke around with and reminisce, I really just enjoyed the rest of the day.

And the rest is history! When you get married later in life, you have plenty of time to think about what kind of husband you would like to be. I was resolved to the fact that when I got married, I was going to be someone who could be counted on. I think I was prepared for the adversity that was to come.

But this weekend is not about cancer. We’re celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary. Next month, will bring another one-year anniversary--

the day that cancer introduced itself to our lives.

Life

I was thinking of this today and thought I would share it. I love the perspective she has on life.

Life

If I had my life to live over, I’d make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would limber up. I would be sillier than I’d been on this trip. I know of very few things I would take seriously. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers and watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans! I would watch less TV and have more picnics.

I would have only actual trouble and very few imaginary ones. I would feel sad, not depressed. I would be concerned, not anxious. I would feel annoyed, not angry. I would regret my mistakes but not spend a lot of time feeling guilty about them.

I would tell more people that I liked them. I would touch my friends. I would forgive others for being human and I would hold no grudges.

I would grow with more children and listen to more old people. I would go after what I wanted without believing that I needed it and I wouldn’t place such a great value on money.

You see, I’m one of those people who lived cautiously, sensibly, sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments and if I had it to do over again, I’d have a lot more of them. In fact, I’d have nothing else . . . . just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I have been one of those people who never went anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.

If I had it to do over again, I would plant more seeds and make the world more beautiful. I would express my feelings without fear.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefooted earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. I would ride on more merry-go-rounds. I’d pick more daisies and I would smile because I would be living free.

Nadine Stahr (at age 85)
Louisville, Kentucky

2009 Relay for Life!

Over a week has passed since the Relay for Life event at Haymarket Park. I posted some photos in the slideshow for people to look at, but I thought I would share some of my thoughts after going through this fundraiser for the first time.

My impression of Relay is that is a culminating event that concludes the fundraiser itself. Each team is to walk for the duration of the event. The total time that you have to walk varies from place to place, but many events seem to last around 12 hours—from 7pm to 7am, and the walking actually lasts around 11 hours or so. There were lots of recognition ceremonies, music, and entertainment throughout the night.

My favorite event was the Survivor Walk. Watching the Survivor Walk was a powerful experience. To see so many cancer survivors in those purple shirts. I thought about how each one of them has a story. After going through this thing with Tracy, I feel that I can truly empathize with them. I didn’t realize that “care givers” got to walk in the Survivor Walk. So I away from the starting line watching before I was able to find Tracy and join her. Actually walking in the Survivor Walk was even better! Part of me feels that I didn’t deserve to be in the walk, but I am glad that I did. The thing that impressed me the most about walking was seeing so many people lining the sidewalk clapping. I especially appreciate the people who were standing alone giving their applause to each person in the crowd.

As part of the program, my wife’s friend, Tracy Lingwall Harnly, gave a great speech later on in the evening. I can’t remember exactly how she put it, but she said that she has been to Relay for four years and commented that she sees new faces every year. In a way that’s good in that we need as many people involved in the fight against cancer as we can find. But on the other hand, it struck me that it was also a bad thing because new faces mean more cases, as is the case with my wife and I.

Tracy L.H. also commented that it was too bad so many people had left the park. You see, after the relay began, a thunderstorm rolled through. There was lightning, and some entire teams left the relay. It’s tough to say how many left, but my guess would be 60-70% left after the storm and another 20% left before dawn. In her speech, Tracy said that in her own personal battle with cancer she has had many times where she would like to just quit and go home. But for people battling cancer, they have to live with it every day.

And that’s the whole point of relay in my mind. It’s a simulation. It’s a challenge. The point is to make it through the whole night. To take your turn walking and make sure you see things through to the end. The difference as I see it is in staying power. Not everyone has the same amount of invested in the fight against cancer. And that’s O.K. We need all of the help that we can get. Some people probably never planned on staying all night anyway. It’s good enough that they were willing to be there at all. But for those of us who had the most invested, quitting wasn’t an option. People were walking all night long. And that was true of our Hair Raisers team. We had some mighty impressive walkers!

Having said that, I will say that the whole relay is a good attempt at simulating what a cancer patient goes through with the fatigue, soreness, and sleeplessness. But it doesn’t quite get there, of course, because the night was also quite fun! It was great to visit with friends and relatives. The music, food, and activities kept everyone entertained. But it was the next day that I really felt out of it! I went to bed around 8 am, but only slept for an hour or so. I was pretty much a zombie for the next six hours, before I was able to take a good afternoon nap. Tracy and I agreed that the day after relay was maybe a more realistic example of how it feels.

Relay for Life

This summer's Relay for Life event is this Friday. It will be held at Haymarket Park on Friday night, starting at 7 pm and lasting until 7 am Saturday morning. Each team will have its members take turns walking the track. At least one member from each team must be walking. I'm excited about it. We've been fund raising for this event for quite a while. And now that the week of the relay is here, it's finally set in that I'll have to stay up all night long! I haven't done that since studying for a college final at Wesleyan. But the point of it is sleeplessness and fatique is something that cancer patients routinely endure. It's fitting that the relay has the format that it does.

There are several activities that will be going on during the relay. One event will be an auction. All procedes going to the American Cancer Society of course. We're going to auction off this rock at the Relay for Life event. It was donated to our team by Big Red Custom Rocks. I spoke to the owner of the company. He's donated items before and is very supportive of the cause.

Check this out

As our Relay For Life event is now only six days away, I thought I would share this story that I ran across about a woman from the U.K. Amazing...

Jane Tomlinson's story

Cancer Challenge Video- Let's Beat Cancer!

Never forget

Today my wife has only two radiation treatments left. Her cancer is officially in remission. Radiation is no walk in the park. It has not been easy. We've had some tough times. But it's unlike chemo in that it didn't take her hair. It didn't leave her sick for a week or more at a time. And it's almost over. But to me, the unspoken thought that comes to mind when you hear the word "remission" is that remission may not last forever. We can take comfort in the statistics that indicate it's highly unlikely that the cancer will come back. But to me, the fight against cancer is only beginning. We both have a long fight ahead of us. I read a statistic that said that I personally have a coin flip's chance to get cancer myself. We're going try to do everything we can to "live strong"-- fight cancer, raise money to fight it, live a healthy life style, exercise, educate ourselves. It's already taken too much from us. We can never forget. And we will never forgive. Cancer.

I went with Tracy to the Midwest Cancer clinic on Monday. We were disappointed to learn that she could not get Herceptin because of the decreased function of her heart. That's a serious deal in itself when you're talking about the heart, nothing to be messed with. But everyone expects her to bounce back in three weeks and be able to receive treatment again. And the thing is, we both realized from the people around us that we're lucky to be where we're at in her treatment.

I'll share one story that I heard while I was in a waiting room Monday. Three people were sharing their cancer story with each other when one man said, "You know, you can work hard your whole life. Pay off the house. Get your kids through college. Retire. And then when you're ready to live the good life, you get cancer." He later said that he was 56 when he was diagnosed and from the sound of things, his prognosis is not good.

They shared their philosophies with each other on how they deal with cancer. One lady, said her husband was diagnosed when he was 65, simply said, "we don't let it bother us", explaining that they try to have as many good days as they can.

One woman shared the story of how she finally convinced her husband to go to the hospital after she finally would not take "I'm fine" as an answer as she watched her husband struggle with pain.

The whole experience made me sad. But it also made me a little angry. It just re-energizes me as we continue our fight against cancer. My feeling is captured in the Livestrong video that is posted above. I will not forget what cancer did and what it's doing to my wife and I. I will not forget what it's done to others that I've met. There's a resolve there. We've got to find a cure.

Actress Farrah Fawcett dead from cancer at 62 :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: People

Actress Farrah Fawcett dead from cancer at 62 :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: People

Shared via AddThis

Spring Fling 2009

ShopDiscover and Tracy's Coupon Clipping

One hobby that my wife Tracy and I have really gotten into through the last six months is bargain shopping. Not only have we saved money, but its also been a nice distraction and given us something else to think about. Tracy tells me that she never used to care a lot about prices, but now she is a coupon wizard—saving money on just about everything she buys!

Probably the best thing that we do is use our Discover Card for just about every purchase we make. With Discover, you can earn dollars back—1% on all purchases and 5% on certain items each month. Right now, we earn 5% cash back on restaurants and department stores. In July, we’ll start to get 5% cash back on gas. Once you earn up to $20 in cash back bonus, you can get that money back from Discover. But what we always do is redeem it for gift cards since $20 in cash back bonus will get you a $25 gift card. It’s fun every month to try to decide what company to get the gift card for—Ace Hardware, Bed Bath & Beyond, Blockbuster, Applebees’s, Sears, etc.

Through Discover.com, you can link to businesses for online shopping. I got 20% cash back from a purchase from ProFlowers and 10% from PetSmart.com. I noticed that Sears.com and other websites offer free in store pick up so you don’t even have to pay shipping. It’s really been kind of a hobby for Tracy and I. And it’s cool to save money after paying for the wedding last year. Plus, now our honeymoon to Hawaii this New Years is already paid for. I don’t think we could have did that without all of the coupon clipping and bargain shopping on Discover.com!

We're Making Progress

Dado Cubes Connect to a Cause

I want to share an artistic creation that Tracy made last December. These blocks are called "Dado Cubes". They were a product of the creative mind of my friend, and Hair Raiser teammate, Mark Carson. Dado Cubes have proven to be very popular, winning several "Toy of the Year" awards. We bought a set of their pink cubes one day last November after stopping by their Fat Brain Toys store at Village Point. When we found out that they had pink Dado Cubes that were being sold with the procedes going to fight breast cancer, we knew we just had to buy one. It was for a good cause, right? Anyway, the picture you see is the creation that Tracy made. It was done at a time when we still were trying to figure out her actual diagnosis. And now, her creation is officially "art". It was on display at our first Hair Raiser team meeting and it will be on display again at our Spring Fling fund raiser.

These Dado Cubes are really cool. I would encourage everyone to go to Fat Brain Toys online or at Village Point and buy the "Dado Pink". Support the fight against breast cancer, and pick up a cool toy for your kids... or yourself!

The Hair Raisers

The response to our fund raising efforts from family, co-workers, friends, and neighbors has been tremendous thus far. As of today, the Hair Raisers Relay for Life team sits on top of the standings for the Lincoln Haymarket Park Relay. After our first fund raising event, the garage sale, Tracy also reached the $1,000 mark. One thing that is cool about getting to one thousand is that they give you a t-shirt in recognition for getting there.

While we're proud to have reached that amount, we both know how we got there. The vast majority of the money I've raised so far has come strictly from donations made by friends and faculty members from our middle school and high school. There are still others who have said they plan to donate. I'm proud to know so many generous people. I also know from messages that they have given that a number of them have lost loved ones to cancer. Donations have been made in their name. Their donations come from the heart.

We made over $400 from yesterday's garage sale. Much of it came from the sale of smaller items. I would guess that over half of the items at the garage sale were donated by co-workers and neighbors. Tracy's mom raised some money toward her own goal by making some kolaches and cinnamon rolls to sell. That went over very well as well. And we had two neighbors on our cul-de-sac that had garage sales of their own. All of this contributed to yesterday's success. But the major thing that stood out was the willingness of the general public to help out in the fight against cancer.

There is still a long way to go. Our goal is to raise $10,000. But we've got a great team and several fund raisers still in the planning stages. We've got a shot to get there. I doubt that we'll stay very high in the rankings for much longer as many teams are just getting started in their efforts. And getting passed by many teams would be just fine with me! This is about finding a cure for a dreadful disease that is breaking hearts and taking lives every day. It feels good to be fighting back and it feels even better to have friends at our side in this fight.

Recovering From Surgery #4

Just a quick update from Friday's surgery, Tracy's 4th if you're scoring at home... I talked to Dr. Riley after the surgery and he expressed confidence that all of the cancer has finally been taken out. There was not a "margin" on what was taken out after the surgery on April 3rd. The good news is that the cancer tested out to be "noninvasive", meaning that it is not the kind of cancer that spreads, causes lumps, etc. However, if left alone, noninvasive cancer can develop into invasive cancer. That was why Tracy needed an additional portion taken out. We'll find out later in the week if the surgery was successful in taking out the rest of the cancer.

A quick update on our Relay for Life efforts. So far the response to our fund raiser has been tremendous. Thus far, we are 2nd out of 60 teams for the Haymarket Relay. It's still early on in the fund raising process though and that's a good thing. Because we set a goal to raise $10,000 this year and we'll need a lot of help to get there. The higher goal is pretty much just a reflection of the anger and determination that we have to fight back against this horrible disease. I hate what it's done to my wife and our first year together. And I don't want it to cause anymore damage. But with one in three expected to get cancer in their lifetime, I'm sure that Tracy and I haven't heard the last from cancer-- whether it's with us or our friends & loved ones. That's why we chose to fight back. We're determined to join the fight and try to make an impact in this battle.

Another surgery

We're going back to Omaha for another surgery today. We all were disappointed to hear that another surgery would be required. Tracy's attitude has been outstanding through all of this. But she's really handled the entire experience very well, so I guess that shouldn't come as a surprise. One thing we can all control through this process is our attitude. So we can make things better on ourselves, or worse. We'll post an update on how things go today.

On another topic, our Relay for Life "Hair Raiser" team is off to a good start. With 98 days left, we are 2nd out of 58 teams. I'm sure that a lot of teams are just getting started, and we have a long way to go as well. We've raised $3,300 so far, but our goal is to raise $10,000. The goal was set high because that's what a goal should be-- possible to attain, but a challenge to get there. And the reward will be worthwhile. One out of three of all of us will get cancer at some point in our lives. We cannot afford not to contribute to cancer research. And boy does it feel good to be fighting back against cancer after everything that we've been through. If you want to donate to the cause, check out my Relay for Life webpage!

Turning A Corner

Tracy had the lumpectomy today to remove whatever was left of the cancer. Everything moved more quickly than it had when Tracy had her lymph nodes removed. The surgery lasted less than an hour and Tracy came out of sedation much more quickly. They say that in general the less time that surgery takes, the quicker the anesthetic will wear out. And that was true today.

Her surgeon told me afterward that everything went well. He said that you can't really see the difference between healthy cells and cancerous ones. He's hopeful that he removed mostly scar tissue with a margin around it. He said there's a possibility that it could test for cancer, but that hopefully there would be a margin of healthy tissue around it. But he would not rule out the possibility that Tracy could have to have another surgery. So we really won't know too much until Tuesday when the tests come back. Until then, Tracy's going to rest and recover.

We are both grateful to put chemo behind us. I hate to say that we are looking forward to radiation. But... we're looking forward to radiation! October 28 seems like such a long time ago. We can't wait until Tracy gets her hair back and is able to lead a more active lifestyle. She recently started training at work again. We're going to look into joining a gym together. It really feels like we've turned a corner today.

Relay time!

We had our first team meeting with our Relay for Life team today. The turnout was very good with nine team members present and, with families there, a total of 17 here for the meal. Tracy made chili for lunch and afterward she went over all of the information with the team. She really did a great job with everything and I think everyone was ready to go after the meeting. Like most Relay teams, our team is primarily made up of family and friends. Our team, the Hair Raisers, has several members whose families have also had to deal with cancer so it is as personal for them as it is for us.

Relay for Life is a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. The money goes toward cancer research as well as other cancer related services such as cancer patient care. Team member raise money for their team through donations and fund raisers. Then on July 24, our team will take turns walking between the hours of 7 pm to 7 am at Haymarket Park. It is a great activity for a wonderful cause. Cancer touches everyone, and we have a long, long way to go in the fight against cancer. Nobody knows who will be affected by this deadly disease in the future. Money we raise this year could save lives in the future.

If you are interested in donating to the cause, check out my fund raising webpage! On the site, you can make a quick, convenient online donation to our team. You can also navigate to Tracy's page, our team's page, or find out more on this great fund raiser.

Update on New Year's Resolutions

How are your New Year's resolutions going? Last year, I came up with a list of 10 things I wanted to accomplish. I achieved none of them. In fact, by February I could not remember most of them. Of course, the major focus of 2008 was the wedding and Tracy's diagnosis. But this is a new year. So this is my official resolution update to anyone that cares.

My two goals for 2009 are to finish 10 books and to dunk a basketball at the age of 40. Despite my height, I haven't been able to jump high enough to dunk for several years. So that goal is fitness related and I'm getting closer but haven't got there yet. As for my reading goal, I have finished two books so far. One was The Last Juror by one of my favorite authors, John Grisham. The other book that I've read is The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, which is the story of a college professor who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was asked to give a final lecture at his school. It's a quick read and a very touching story. I would recommend it to anyone and I think that book brings to light just how far we have to go in the fight against cancer. Pancreatic cancer, I'm told, has only a 5% survival rate beyond five years.

A Bad Day

Well, I suppose many of you may know this already by reading Tracy's blog, but yesterday did not go as planned. Her MUGA test showed that her heart was functioning at a significantly lower level than it had before she started chemo. It appears that the herceptin she is taking has caused it.

To back up just a bit, Tracy's cancer tested high for the HER2 protein. Only one in five test high for it and Tracy falls into that category. HER2 can cause cancer to spread faster and make it more likely to reoccur. Herceptin has proven in studies to lessen the likelihood of reoccurrance and also make chemotherapy more effective in treating existing cancers for women with HER2. However, in about 30% of people that take herceptin, it can affect the heart and Tracy falls into that category as well.

So yesterday she finished up with her chemo except for the herceptin. The big thing we're worried about is her being able to get back on it and in all likelihood, she should be able to get back on it once her heart shows some recovery. From what I've heard and read, the heart could recover quickly on its own and it may or may not require some heart medication before getting back on it.

So we're worried about her heart and we're worried about cancer. Not a fun place to be in right now. We had been getting some pretty good momentum of progress, and this kinda pulled us out of that mindset and returns some feelings of uncertainty. But we will meet with our oncologist when he gets back in town and we'll see what he says. Everybody is different, so since Tracy's cancer appears to not have spread, they may be a bit more conservative with her. Generally speaking though, from what I've read, doctors would rather take a chance and go after the cancer rather than take too many precautions with the heart. But as Dr. Langdon said, we all want to live long healthy lives and we certainly need healthy hearts to do that. In the meantime, we will wait and try to do as much as we can to live "heart healthy" lives. And this only adds fuel to the fire for the need for more fundraising for cancer research. We're going to do the Relay For Life fundraiser this year. I'm hoping that everyone can chip in and help us raise money for more progress to be made.

Relay time

I am excited about relay for life. We're going to get friends and family from both sides involved. It's cool that Tracy's team has gotten off to a good early start! I'm going to get my own webpage set up and hopefully I'll be able to help with the cause. Cancer research is such an important cause. So many people are affected by it. And who knows what the future will hold? With Tracy, we're hoping for a successful treatment and then we'll worry about reoccurrence. But what about the rest of us too? How many others of us will have this to deal with in our future? It's not something we want to think about, but the more money we can raise for cancer research, the better off we all could be. With the economy expected to have a negative impact on charities this year, our relay for life team's contribution becomes even more important.

Round Six

Tomorrow Tracy goes to her sixth and final chemo treatment. I can't truthfully say that the time has "flown by". It's been a long road. Yesterday, I got a little taste of what it must feel like to go through chemotherapy in that I had food poisoning-- losing six pounds in 24 hours. It was tough, every minute of it. But today I'm feeling better. It reminded me of how Tracy must be feeling the week after she goes through chemo. This particular treatment, the last one, should be the toughest. Tracy's really handed things quite well considering everything. I had a tough time with the 24 hour flu and Tracy's basically been sick for 18 weeks.

It's been tough, but both of us are glad to be going through this for the last time. Of course, I've had the much easier job of the two. But I can't wait for things to get back to "normal". We didn't really have much of a chance for things to settle down from the wedding before the diagnosis. Cancer will always be on our minds, or maybe in the back of our minds. But at least my wife won't have to be suffering from these side effects and we'll have other things to worry about, like the landscaping in front of the house or planning our next family get together.

Round Four

We made the trip to Omaha yesterday and we've now embarked on "Round Four" of chemo. We have only two more treatments to go before we can go onto her next category of treatment... surgery. But first, more fun with chemo!! I make light of it, but there's really nothing funny about it. Cancer is a very serious deal and I think that going through chemo truly is a fight. It's a fight to keep it from dominating your life. It takes away your hair and makes you feel ill. And it can do much more than that. It can change your life style, your outlook on life, if you let it. That's why I call it a fight. And I know that I'm not the first person to make that comparison. I won't be the last.

Kay Yow died over the weekend. She was the women's basketball coach at North Carolina State. She had a 20 year fight with breast cancer. She was 66. She did so much for breast cancer awareness and I'm sure that her story will continue to inspire more and more people to act against this disease. Coach Yow was diagnosed in 1987. At the time, the men's coach at NC State was Jim Valvano. Coach Valvano was very supportive of Coach Yow at the time. But not long after that, Coach Valvano ("Jimmy V") would lose his own fight with cancer. His coaching friends and ESPN combined forces to form the Jimmy V Foundation that raises money for cancer research.

Don't Get Around Much Anymore

Ever hear the old song, Don't Get Around Much Anymore? I don't know who sang it first, but I know that I've heard Harry Connick, Jr. sing it. I don't remember the words, but I know that the end phrase of every verse is that title phrase. And that's pretty much been popping into my head from time to time these days. Tracy and I don't get out much these days. Quite often, of course, it's because of Tracy's health or not feeling well. But it's not all bad. Since we've met, it has been go-go-go. We like going out. However, even before we were married, we both talked about slowing down. Saving money, eating in, simple pleasures. So we are doing that a lot more now. Don't get me wrong, we do go out. In fact, last night we saw a good movie "Grand Torino". But this chemo thing has forced us to slow down, spend less, and stay home.

We've gotten into playing board games and Scrabble, playing cards when we have company, but mostly watching more TV. We've always loved watching The Biggest Loser together. And there are other shows that I love or Tracy loves to watch. Since we went to a movie last night, Tracy will get to see the recording of "The Bachelor". I don't really like the show that much, but I do get a kick out of watching Tracy react to the women on the show. Tracy's face lights up with an combination of delight and anticipation when those women start arguing with each other. The best comparison I can come up with is a kid on Christmas morning staring at the presents under the tree. Unfortunately, I'll miss watching her watch the Bachelor tonight, but hopefully I'll catch the low lights.

Looking Back on 2008

Happy New Year! It's been a very busy time in the Poppe household with work and everything that goes into the holidays. I personally had two weeks off, but spent time working my second job and household projects. I also spent a lot of time preparing for a teacher in-service session that I led today. One thing I am especially happy about is getting the leaves in Tracy's yard raked. Yes, that job was put off for awhile! But we were able to get that accomplished last Saturday before the cold weather came in (actually we finished it in some pretty cold weather). Tracy helped out. We didn't really plan it that way, but she pitched in after she finished vacuuming inside. I was glad to see her get some exercise and some fresh air. She wasn't had much of a chance to do that lately as chemo has definitely taken its tool on her. And then some.

Chemo is some nasty stuff. But it does its job. It saves lives.

2008 was a great year. Yes, as you know, Tracy was diagnosed with cancer. And my usually trouble free house decided to make a liar out of me... we replaced the air conditioning, water heater, garage door opener, garbage disposal. All in one year. And to make things even better, a mirror (wedding gift) that was hung in the kitchen above the range came down one day and almost hit me in the head. I felt it pass by my head right after I closed a cabinet door. While that mirror did miss me, it hit two control knobs on the oven instead. Long story short, the cost of the repair parts needed was absurd. So, the house will be getting a new range installed in a couple weeks! Tracy's always on me to make sure that I close the cabinets, but look where it gets me. It's dangerous closing those cabinet doors... and expensive!

So if you're wondering why 2008 was a great year for me, I guess I'll have to remind you of the one thing that trumps everything else.

I married Tracy.